STANTON'S RULES OF THE TABLE

CREATIVITY

Click for source Penny Arcade strip

The game is everyone's contribution.

Players' ideas should always be met with "yes, but..." and almost never blocked by a flat "no." You want to play a psionic were-dragon who happens to be the foretold messiah of all dwarvenkind? Fine by me, but expect harassment by telepaths, dragonhunters and short, hairy zealots. The campaign world is an imaginary shared creation among all players, not the cohesive script of a single author. The individual tastes, opinions and decisions each player brings to the group are what make RPGs different from other games. The rules only exist to provide a fair and consistent expectation for everyone, but rules can be bent to meet individual players' desires. Exceptions to "official" gameplay must be commonly agreed to and should never infringe of other players' creative freedom and fair play.

Gary Gygax, charter member of the Vice Presidential Action Rangers - click for audio

DICE

Rolls only count when everyone sees the result.

No "fudging." A roll only counts if everyone at the table sees the result - players and DMs included. This practice may hurt the dramatic mystery of a situation ("He rolled a 2 and still hit? He must be really high level..."), but it is better to openly know everyone is playing fair. An element of equal random chance is designed into the game. Do not roll dice where others cannot see them. If necessary, pause to let the DM acknowledge your dice result. Do not roll, call out the resulting number, then pick up the die while the DM is busy doing other tasks. The DM can and should call "jack dice," ignore the result and demand an open re-roll.

Click for time-killing TV Tropes site

NON-PLAYER CHARACTERS

"NPCs suck and they are all going to die."

(Quote credited to gamer/blogger Jeff Rients.) The player characters are heroes; the heroes are player characters. Everyone else is either a bystander, a victim or a villain. Do not expect NPCs to show competence or initiative. NPCs only act brave or smart when player character make them do so, usually requiring some effort. Also, do not expect a Gandalf or an Obi-Wan to show up and save the day when things go badly. Do not delegate important tasks to NPCs; they will fail or perish horribly without the heroes' aid. Recognize their horrible fates for what they are: plot devices and illustrative warnings from the DM. No redshirt ever saved Capt. Kirk. No soldier of Gondor ever said to Aragon, "Don't worry, I got this Mordor thing handled." Victory always depends on the decisions made by the hero player characters, for good or ill.

Another classic Big Lebowski scene...

RULE LAWYERS

"HAS THE WHOLE WORLD GONE CRAZY? AM I THE ONLY ONE AROUND HERE WHO GIVES A SH!T ABOUT THE RULES?"

You be nice and the DM will be fair. Polite corrections to the DM's inevitable misplays are welcome at the time they happen, but flow of the game takes priority. There are thousands of class features, powers and feats available in the official rules. Players should understand their characters' abilities better than the DM. However, no retconing; we're never going to ignore 60 minutes of gameplay because the DM forgot your +2 bonus to something that happened an hour before. Innocent injustices can find restitution in future gameplay under the DM's graceful whims. (Of course the DM has a God complex. Why else be the game's center of attention in the player's world and the master of the universe in the character's world? Do not piss Him off.)

Click for XKCD source

SPEEDY PLAY

Pay attention or else.

Combat demands players' quick reactions. Immediately stating your character's actions for a round when its your turn in the initiative order grants you a +1 bonus to your d20 roll. Delaying more than a second waives this bonus, and further fumbling for a decision incurs a -1 penalty per second counted off by the DM ("one-gary-gygax, two-gary-gygax, three-gary-gygax..."). The count may be paused for legitimate rules questions, but no stalling.

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